JellyPages.com

Monday, 30 January 2017

Follow the flow?

Assalamualaikum and hey

So how was your day ? Ir harap semuanya dalam keadaan sihat dan gembira dan ceria. Kalau ada masalah, jangan campur aduk dengan orang sekeliling. Smile and keep your pains inside you. Never show your problems to anyone because no one care, and they even don't mind. Or perhaps they will laugh at you, to see you being down. Apa yang penting ? Senyum .

Kalau sakit? Jangan lupa makan ubat, Jangan lupa pergi klinik. Jangan biarkan sakit tu melarat. Dah besarkan ? Boleh fikir sendiri :) Takkan tu pun nak biarkan mak ayah risau.

Stop with the mukadimah. Hari ni Ir nak cerita pasal Umar. Yelah, siapa lagi Ir nak cerita. Takkan pasal jiran sebelah taman sana .

I had Whatsapp him first.

Hello? Dengar tak? Ir dah text dia dekat whatsapp dulu. Sebab apa ? Sebab Ir rindukan dia sangat. Takkan tiap hari nak kacau Azra and told him I miss Umar. Gila apa. Azra ada life kot.

Then, Umar replied *Idk if he happy or not.*

Tapi yang pastinya Ir happy sangat sangat sangat. Even just a HI . What a pathetic crush kann? Sampai bila nak macam ni? Sampai bila nak tunggu? Sampai bila aku boleh tahan makan hati ? Sampai bilaaaaaa weh?

Next, Ir dapat tahu how his life going on during his holidays. Dia tolong mama dia kerja. Baik kan? Rajin sangat menolong. Bagus, sesiapa saja out there, if once this boy dah mula suka kau, please la. Ir mohon jangan sesekali left him all alone. Jangan sesekali wreak his trust. Jangan sesekali break his heart. Jaga dia elok elok. Because he is actually a very very very nice and caring and lovely person. Not impossible if he is a romantic guy. Sebab Ir dapat tengok dari gaya dia breakheart macam mana. When once he loved, he too much love that girl until his breaking inside and hard to heal. When he trusted, he trust too much until he can't accept the fact he was left by someone he love.


Change language mode


Tapi kalau boleh aku taknak dia pandang orang lain. Kalau boleh aku nak dia pandang aku seorang. Kalau boleh aku nak dia sedar yang aku dekat sini macam orang bodoh tunggu dia. Aku nak aku dalam hati dia. Aku nak aku yang ada dekat dengan dia dalam dia senang atau susah. Aku nak aku yang giving all those time to him walaupun aku ada berlambak lagi kerja nak buat. YE AKU TAHU DIA TAK PERNAH MINTAK. I REALISED HE NEVER ASKED FOR THAT, but can't he at least sedar yang aku buat tu sebab aku really really sincere wanna be side him.

So, dear Diraf,

I <3 food , travel and sleep :)

So if I tell about my favourite foods with you, if I share my favourite pictures during my travel , and if i spent the whole day just to wait you replying my text, mind yourself ; no idiot will love you like I do .



Thankyou :)

Sebab tu aku tak kesah kalau dia replied whatsapp aku selepas 5 jam atau sehari selepas , aku tetap akan excited balas seminit selepas tu. Because that text is from him.


Unfortunately, he never excited got my text. He never care at all about my afford. He don't see it. No, HE DO NOT WANT TO SEE IT. Takpe la. Aku sedar lama dah pasal tu. Sebab benda ni la aku nak give up banyak kali. Tapi tak jadi, aku tak jadi give up. Aku tak nak give up. Aku cuma take some time , Aku nak rest from this feelings ; exhausted, excited, happy, sad, disappointed, hope, love, miss, everything, him . Aku nak buang semua negetif thinking dan positif yang one day perhaps he will see it.

But no, it is a no. *CHUCKLED*

Dia pandai kot, ada rupa, rajin, bertanggungjawab, full of mysteries, and tak mustahil dekat tempat dia belajar, dia boleh gain thousands of girls yang suka dia. Dia boleh je petik jari, berlambak datang. Dia boleh je pilih mana-mana satu yang dia nak. Dia boleh je kalau dia nak.

Aku pun terpaksa la lepaskan semua perasaan ni. Dah takde dah rasa makan hati, sakit hati, kecik hati semua. Dah tak payah ambil kesah lagi pasal dia. Dah tak payah pikir lagi pasal dia. Seperti yang aku pesan, sesiapa saja yang once dia dah pilih to be with him for whole his life, please jaga dia elok-elok. Aku dah penat nak ambil tahu lagi pasal dia. Sebab lepas ni, dia percayakan kau untuk jaga hidup dia, kau jangan koyakkan kepercayaan tu. Kalau tak aku koyakkan badan kau.

K, kidding je. Tapi aku serius pasal ayat terakhir aku tu.

So, lastly, Umar,

I wish that you know how my feelings about you. Tapi bila fikir balik , kau tak payah tahu la. Aku takut dengan rejection. Walaupun aku tahu that people always said,

"Dalam setiap penolakan akan ada penerimaan."

I don't know siapa yang akan selamatkan aku daripada terusan menunggu kau like an idiot. Betul la orang cakap, ;

"WAITING PEOPLE WHO NEVER LOVE US IS JUST LIKE WAITING A SHIP AT AIRPORT."

Oh Allah, just please,
If he never meant to be mine, just delete this feelings. Just delete all these bullshit memories. Closed my heart, really really close.

Never open till YOU said so.

:)

Okay, got to go. Dah pagi ni weh. Aku nak tidur dulu. Next post pasal vacation satu malaysia aku k. Hahaha, good morning and have a nice day :)

XOX

What Do You Think Of Me?