Sunday, 4 December 2016

Step Aside


Honestly speaking, I have no idea since when I’m starting to love you.
Because as I remember, I didn’t ever know your existence,
And never met you.
I go on with my life as usual without hesitation.
Without thinking up something seriously.
Study and playing around with friends,
Making memories as student’s life.
I am happy and I am satisfied with myself.
Having friends same as crazy as me.
But, one day, during mid semester 1.
Someone told me about Umar Farid.
Yes, she told me about you.
She told me about your greatness,
And trust me, I don’t give a damn about it.

Time pass by and I’m still with my life.
Friends and memories.
Full of laugh, and annoyed.
Study, Quiz and assignments and problems,
Truthly, I am not that genius to be in here,
Being jealous of friends’ results,
Make me feel worst and down.
Fortunately, I have a friend, best one.
She is such a nice friend.
One day,
She asked me to go for a walk.
Just me and her.
We spend the whole evening.
Talked and shared stories.
Then, She said about you.
She asked me why not to take you as an example.
A Malay guy,
Who can standout among the Chinese’s students.
The way she told me about you, your genius,
Make me think,
Why not I give a damn about you.
Then, that’s how I started to know you.
What a funny,
Am I the only who don’t know about you?
While the whole school talk about that
Especially the girls.
Believe me,
I am still not have any feelings with you yet.
But be proud then,
Because of you, I started to get up,
And fight back for my study.

Time flew and before the final semester 1,
Your valued became higher since you broken.
The female’s students start to talk about it,
I am still here stood while wondering who are you.
Then one day,
I studied with Azra and the gang,
That evening I saw someone,
Who sat alone at the corner of table.
I asked him,
Who is that ?
And Azra replied,
That’s Umar.
And I’m just nod.
Because it’s totally different,
Between what people said about you, and
What I just saw in you.
People said, since you broken,
You are not an easy person.
You are an arrogant,
A very high confidence’s person.
And such that high-class’ attitude you got on you.
Before that evening,
I assumed you like that.
I imagine you appearance
I want to know ho great you are,
Like those people said
Because, I’m still not knew which one was you.
Do you know what I saw that evening,
What I saw in you, Umar ?
I saw someone who’s look stronger
Deep down inside you,
You are weaker like there are nobody else.
And start that day too,
I want to know about you.
Just a little more.

Since that day,
I started to give a damn about you.
Everyday I try to see you everyday.
Even once a day,
It’s enough, more than enough.
Since that day,
I start to asked Azra about you.
Fortunately he is your classmate.
Since that day,
Even when you walk by pass me,
It’s made my day,
And I smiled from ears to ears.
Since that day,
I tried hard in study to be same level as you.
I start to have a prep during evening.
Since that day,
I try to match up the your clothes’ colour with mine.
Since that day,
I start to involved into activities same as yours.
Sound pathetic right ?

Yeah, I know it is.
Even I know you don’t even know my name,
Even don’t know my existence,
Still I want to know you.
Because I realize that,
Knowing you make me start to love you.
Still I don’t show that obviously.
I tried not to ask you to everyone
Except Azra.
Except Nabel
Except my best friends.
It’s hurt Umar,
Loving you this quietly.
Watching you laughing with those friends of yours,
Watching you speak informally with them,
Watching you teaching them closely.
And know what,
I am even jealous with Ming Yi
She is your friends
Really closed one.
Even where you are,
She is the one beside you.
Because, me too,
Really do want to stay your side.
Making you laugh,
Study with you,
But then, I realized something,
We are different. Totally different.
Then I started to give up.
My friends also said,
Move on la Suhaila.
I laughed hardly.
How idiot am I ?
Loving someone like you.
Dreaming of being side someone like you.
So, for a while,

I’m moving on.

What Do You Think Of Me?