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Sunday, 22 October 2017

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To my future boyfriend:
Please know that I love ice creams and sports, but if you preferred to give me fruits and books. I won't mind. 
Please know that I admire men who knows how to cook, but if you preferred to just take me in a restaurant to dine. I won't mind.
Please know that I want to ride on a closed door vehicle, but if you preferred to drive me crazy on your open air one, I won't mind. 
Please know that I love wandering and discovering places with the one I treasured most, but if you preferred to just stay at home and watch my favorite movie. I won't mind. 
Please know that I appreciate surprises, but if you preferred to ask me first before doing it. I won't mind. 
Please know that I easily get irritated when I have red flag, but if you preferred to comfort me with my predicament instead of avoiding my mood. I won't mind. 
Please know that It took me for hours to shop my stuffs, but if you preferred to do it for me. I won't mind. 
Please know that little efforts makes me smile, but if you preferred to do more than small things. I won't mind. 
Please know that you should also take care of my family and not just me, but if you preferred to include my friends and the people around me. I won't mind. 
Please know that I sleep late at night that will make you thought of something againts me, but if you preferred to stay late at night just to be with me. I won't mind. 
Please know that behind my bravery I am vulnerable also but if you preferred to be my strength. I won't mind. 
Please know that I'm fond of talking about everything that's happening in my life, but if you preferred to just kiss me right away just to stop me. I won't mind. 
Please know that I easily get annoyed when things don't work the way I wanted it, but if you preferred to settle things just to give me peace of mind. I won't mind. 
Please know that I'm fond of writing, dreaming and planning, but if you preferred to share your ideas with me. I won't mind. 
Please know that I want you to hold my hand when I'm cold and my world turns to upside down, but If you preferred to hug me like you never want to let me go. I won't mind. 
Please know that I will never choose to leave you, but if you preferred not to give me reasons to do that. I won't mind. 
Please know that when I tell you I love you that means I want to keep you, but if you preferred to show me how much I mean to you. I won't mind. 
Please know that behind my silence I'm hiding something from you, but if you preferred to listen. I won't mind. 
Please know that when I choose you, it will only be you and no one else but if you preferred to offer your heart and fidelity. I won't mind
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Last Stand

You never apologized for hurting her, but she apologized multiple times for being angry about it. You never apologized for lying to her, but she apologized countless times for wanting to know the truth. You never apologized for talking to other girls behind her back, but she apologized many times for finding it out on her own. You never apologized for not being there for her when she needed you, but she apologized over and over for expecting you to be. You never apologized for making her jealous of other girls, but she apologized time and time again for letting it affect her. You never apologized for playing her, but she apologized a bunch of times for holding a grudge with you for it. You never apologized for breaking her heart, but she apologized endlessly for caring so much. The point is, why is she always doing the apologizing when she hasn't done anything wrong? Why does she always have to apologize just to you two can get past whatever problems you have? Why does she always have to be the bigger person just so you guys can move on? She would never do the things you've done to her and yet, she has to be sorry for it, because you're not. Man up, and apologize.

When she say she give up on you, it means that she have been to a lot before she reach that point. It means that she gave you countless chances and forgiveness, but still it was useless. When she say she give up on you, it means that she had numerous sleepless nights, thinking about her decision. she had to recount on the memories...good or bad, happy or sad. she don't want to start all over again that is why she hold on for quite some time. In silence, she is hoping that you'll change your ways. She is swallowing her pride every time just to make the first move to get back to you...to reconcile and make amends.
But at the end of the day, she just realised that the reason why it didn't work it's because she was the only one fighting for our relationship. She was the only one who made efforts. It will never be easy for sure starting from scratch, but she'll be strong and she'll be fine.

She didn’t want to say but she was falling apart, she wanted someone to hold her but she was too stubborn to ask. She will not beg to be loved, she preferred to walk away, to be alone instead. She mastered the art of faking a smile, a smile that never reached up to her eyes. Look in them and you will know how they flood every night, how sorrow and her are lovers that can't stay apart. She could take all the pain that came her way, will not say a single word, but couldn't stand to see the look of pity for her in someone’s eye. She pretended like she didn’t care but she had one of the purest heart, a heart that deserved nothing but love. She cared about the people she loved, because she knew how it felt like to be unwanted. But no one cared about her, nobody knew how she smiled during the day and cried herself to sleep every night. She was surrounded by so many yet she felt lonely…what’s worse than feeling alone in a room full of people.


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